Okay, so maybe it's been nearly a year since I last updated my blog. And maybe some very significant life-changing events have occurred in my life. One day, I'll talk about those, but right now, I want to say a couple things about feminism. This is most for me. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think it's time to put my thoughts on paper (er...screen?) and articulate how I feel about feminism.
So let's cut to the chase: I identify as a feminist. The funny thing is, feminism is a BROAD term. It means lots of different things to lots of different people, and I'm well aware that there are other feminists who probably disagree fundamentally with the things I'm going to say--but that's okay. Seriously. It's okay. I don't mind that other people might disagree with me. This is how I feel and because I'm a person (and a daughter of God) that makes how I feel important.
At least to me.
I know most of the people who read this blog are family and friends, so most of you already know that I come from a family of MANY women. I have five sisters and one fantastic sister-in-law. I have a (super-duper-awesome) mother, and I have aunts, and I have a grandma, and I have three beautiful nieces (which isn't to say that I love my nephews any less than my nieces). And on top of all that, I'm also a woman.
And being a woman, well, it rocks. I LOVE being a woman and I love the perspective I have on life, the universe, and everything because I'm a woman. Spoiler alert: men and women are different. From our biology to the way we process things around us, we're different. The perspective I have on things as woman differs from the perspective my husband, my dad, and my brother have. And that's okay--in fact, I'd go so far as to say that's awesome. I don't want everyone to see things the exact same way I do. For one, it'd make for incredibly boring conversation.
But here's the crux, people. Just because we see things, feel things, experience things differently doesn't make what I feel as a woman any less important than what a man feels as a man.
Sadly, I don't think society agrees with me on this one. Oh, they'll say that we have gender equality and that women and men have the same opportunities in life and that women aren't objectified in our culture, but they're wrong. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that. People who think we don't have sexism issues in our society are flat out wrong.
Last night, my husband and I went on a walk, during which we discussed feminism and during what he said that he really doesn't get feminism. He said that he doesn't understand why the movement seems to attack men and the patriarchy so much and that he would understand it much more if it were trying to promote positive images of everyone.
And that confused me a little, because while I understand that there are some feminists who do attack (rhetorically, usually, rather than physically) men, in my mind, feminism is trying to create positive images of everyone. Feminism is about expecting everyone to be better. It's about holding ourselves to a higher standard where we don't disregard the opinions or feelings of one group of people just because they're different than ourselves.
After our walk, we watched Man in the Iron Mask together off Netflix. Brian had never heard of the movie and I had vague recollections of watching it once when I was about ten. The movie was entertaining enough, if a bit cheesy, but as I watched, I started to get uncomfortable. In the film, there are two named female characters as opposed to the (at least) six named male characters. There are plenty of other women in the movie, of course, but every one of those women who has anything more than a few seconds of screen time is there for the sexual pleasure of a male character.
And it seemed to me that of the two named female characters, the entire existence of one was to show how evil the bad guy really was because he wanted to (and did) have sex with her and use her even though she was in love with someone else.
At one point in the movie, I turned to Brian and asked, "Why don't any of the girls get to have any swashbuckling fun?"
He wasn't able to give me a satisfactory answer.
And it bothered me. Why were almost all of the women in that film sexual objects? Why couldn't they have their own adventure--or help the men in their adventure? What sort of message does this teach young girls, when all they see in books, movies, and TV shows are women who are sexual objects?
Because women are SO much more than that and we're capable of so much more than that. I want my nieces and my little sisters and (one day) my daughters to be able to see examples of women who are strong and proactive in their own right in the media they consume. I want the girls and women in my life to see Hermione Grangers and Luna Lovegoods and Katniss Everdeens. I want them to see that they can be strong and smart and capable.
I want the girls and women in my life to know that they have value outside of what society tells them. That they are daughters of God and that gives them infinite worth.
I want the men and boys in my life to know that just because something is marketed towards women or appears "girly" or "feminine," that it is not somehow less than things that are marketed to men. That all the books and movies and TV shows that I love that are about the experiences of women and girls STILL HAVE MERIT and that it is not a shameful thing to like those things.
I want my nieces to grow up in a world where people are taught not to rape rather than to not get raped. I want a world where they are safe and where people will stand beside the survivors of sexual assault instead of blaming them and shaming them. I want my nephews to grow up in a world where they understand the power and strength that their sisters have and I want my nephews to be the sorts of boys (and men) who will stand up for girls (and women) when they see that power and strength being mocked and belittled.
I want the women in my life to know that they are more than just their bodies. Their worth doesn't lie in their appearance or their sexuality. They are daughters of God. They have minds and ideas worth sharing and they have wonderful bodies (no matter the shape) that will help them cultivate those ideas.
I want to feel that the choice to be a stay-at-home mom is one I make because I wanted it and not because it's what I'm "supposed to do." I want women to feel empowered in the choices they make and that, whether they have a career outside the home or not, they are doing what the love, that they're cultivating their talents, that they're actively striving to be the best version of themselves.
For me, that's what feminism is. It's the ideology where we create the best possible world for ourselves, for our daughters and sisters and nieces and friends--and also for our sons and brothers and nephews.
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