It was like the invasion of orange fruits.
Anyway, because I'm (mostly) an adult, I said to myself that the next time I went grocery shopping, I'd go and get myself some delicious citrus fruit. Because when you're (mostly) an adult, you can make decisions like that.
So a few days later, I was at Wal-Mart and I picked up some of those "Cuties" (which upon inspection of the box, I discovered are California Mandarins and not clementines as I previously supposed). I chose them mostly on the basis that they are easy to peel. I have a very poor history regarding my ability to peel/skin fruits/vegetables, and I can assure you with confidence that getting a nice spurt of citrus juice in your eye actually hurts worse than getting a chunk of salt off a soft preztel in your eye.
Though neither hurt as bad as putting a damaged contact lens in your eye. Go figure.
Anyway, so I bought the Cuties and satisfied my citrus craving and I felt all cool and responsible and like a real adult because I was eating things that were good for me etc etc. (Tangent: did you know that the ampersand (ie this thing: &) was originally designed as a symbol that was a cross between the letter E and the letter T to stand for the Latin word et, meaning and? I only bring this up here because etc is the abbreviate for the Latin phrase et cetera which means and so forth.)
Unfortunately, as proud as I was of my adult responsibility in eating good food, I kind of forgot about the adult responsibility that says you need to clean up after yourself. Especially clean up after your perishable foods. So while tidying up today, I happened upon the box of Cuties, which was now half full of moldy citrus fruits. And I'm talking legit mold here. Like they looked like little shrunken globes of the Earth because they were the right color of green/blue.
I'd show you a picture but I'm too lazy to take one and post it online.
I picked up one of the oranges (this one was only half-moldy and I grabbed it by the not moldy bit) and I tossed it in an empty granola bar box. Where it promptly exploded in a tiny mushroom cloud of mold spores.
At which point I decided it was probably safe to just throw out the box entirely.
The end.
As a side note: if you ever find yourself with an excess of time and want to be entertained, check out the Vlogbrothers on youtube. It's both informative and hilarious.
